When I feel overwhelmed, I repeat this mantra to calm me down and bring the current moment into focus.

Everything that needs to get done will get done, easily and efficiently.

It works.

And I wouldn’t even call myself a mantra person.

Try it out, and let me know how it works for you.
 

A wise coach once told me that our thought patterns are like a china plate. It’s difficult to break our core issues, the center of the plate, but if we chip around the edges at the little nagging stuff of every day life, the plate will eventually fall apart.

I work with very wise individuals. They know that their fear originates from a few particular events from their childhood. They know that their low self-confidence comes from being incessantly teased in 6th grade. (Oh, that’s me.) They know that their hesitance to trust their intuition comes from one decision they made a few years ago. So when something big comes up, these clients dive in and want to tackle that one big thing.

It’s difficult to break a plate in the center. It’s easier to chip the edges.

So we look at the fear they face today about a workshop they plan to attend. We look at trusting one small hunch they have. We work the day-to-day stuff.

Then we circle back to the big stuff, because it’s all connected.

Chipping the edges of the plate is easier, and it gets you to the same place in the end. Why not go with easy?
 

Creativity is spurred by many things, one of which is newness. Exposing ourselves to new sounds, sights, tastes, and activities feeds our brains.

If you have a puzzle you’re trying to solve, such as “What to do with my life,” before you sit down to brainstorm, set yourself up for success by first changing the scenery. When you tackle a problem like “How to find a job I love,” don’t sit in your drab cloth-covered cubicle and recount what you already know: good boss, more free time, something meaningful, blah blah blah. Escape the cubicle and head somewhere new to find new insights.

Go to a new coffee shop, read a book on a topic you know nothing about, then spend the 15 minutes writing down 50 possible careers, from the practical to the insane. (Martha Beck says that if the list doesn’t include at least one illegal item, you’re not brainstorming hard enough!)

If you’ve gone through most of your life in one particular way (whatever that way is), finding a new way of being or a new job or expanding your business to reach more people is going to require some edge-of-your-box thinking. Start by getting yourself physically out of your usual surroundings. Go someplace new. Mix it up even more by filling all of your five senses with new experiences.

A change of scenery doesn’t mean you don’t have to live in Italy for two years like my friend Katrina, though I know that’s done wonders for her creativity. Take two hours to head the town next door, sip a blend of tea you’ve never tried, and read a book on a topic you know nothing about. After you’ve fed your brain, see what it can do for you. Ideas will abound. Now your puzzle solving is on the right track. Not over, but on the right track.

Then report back and tell me what you discovered. Did you find any new ideas on finding a job you love?

Photo courtesy of Katrina Sloma at www.kateyeview.com
 

You’re busy with work, life, family, community activities, and more. You committed to someone that you’d do that thing, and you’re waiting on someone else to get back to you with some other details. Although the specifics of these tasks are all simple, it causes you stress and seems to take more time than it should. Yet you have no idea how to change things.

You think, “I just need to make some time to read that time management book.”

I will say, I’m not a fan of time management books. The details are so specific. They teach you that their way is the right way and the only way, and you better do it this way or your life isn’t going to get any easier.

No, thank you.

How you manage your time and your tasks should be as unique as you are. It should be customized to how you work and how you live.

There are, however, a few principles behind all time management systems.

1. Get stuff out of your head and captured somewhere.
2. Trust your “captured somewhere.”

This puts everything in the right place when you need it. You don’t have to trust your memory to tell you that you still need to pick up a baby card for your friend. It’s captured and you trust that it’s captured.

This brings in the third principle of time management systems.

3. Have a task retrieval system you trust.

You can use
a to-do list,
a calendar,
a small notebook in your pocket or purse,
a stack of post-its on your forehead,
any of the above,
or anything else you can imagine.

Create a system you trust.
Use the system.

That’s how your to-do list can be stress-free.

Setting up a system takes creativity and experimentation. Some people need a little help.

Put the time in now to create something that makes life easier. Your stress-levels will thank you.
 

Would you like to feel a little less stress during stressful activities? Do you want to take away a bit of the tension?

Last weekend, I cleaned the house. It’s not my favorite thing to do. Merely thinking about it causes my body to grow tense, and it worsens once I start cleaning. I love a clean house, but I don’t love cleaning it.

This time, I decided to take away the tension. I chose to clean the house without the usual frustration.

A dirty toilet is still a dirty toilet, but cleaning it isn’t so bad when I don’t carry mental and physical stress.

What do you find stressful?

A meeting with your boss.
Carpooling a van full of kids to and from basketball practice.
Cleaning up after teenagers.

Whatever it is, when you do that thing you don’t like, decide to leave the tension behind.

You have a choice.

Relax your muscles. Take slow, deep breaths. Move slowly.

If you’re going to do the thing you don’t like to do, you might as well do it without adding extra pain.

Where can you remove a little tension in your life and add in a deep breath and some relaxation?
 

There is a fine line between persistence and refusing to accept reality. --Tim Leatherman, founder of Leatherman Tools, in reference to his 8 year endeavor to sell his first tool

When I heard Tim Leatherman say these worlds last week to a room full of engineering professionals and students, I grabbed my pen and paper. I don’t think that statement was calculated or prepared; it just flew from his lips when asked a question about frustration and wanting to give up when he hadn’t sold a tool after many years of trying.

I thought about my life. Would I keep working on the same thing for 8 years without a single “bite?” Do I have enough passion and drive and belief in what I do to keep at it that long?

Sometimes we give up because the road to where we’re going gets rough. Other times, we refuse to accept reality even when conditions look bleak.

How do we know if it’s time to quit?

I can’t say I have a clear answer, but one thought comes to mind: if deep in your heart you hear a YES, keep going. It doesn’t matter what anyone else says, if it feels right to you deep down, it’s right.

What do you think?

Photo courtesy of Rebecca via Flickr
 

With all of my talk about change, I want to also remind you that even when it feels like life is a whirlwind of change, there are always some things that remain constant.

If you’ve embarked on a new career, notice that your relationships with friends remain the same. If you’ve had a shake-up in your home life, notice that your exercise routine can stay the same. Notice whatever is constant for you.

What do you enjoy or appreciate about this aspect of your life? How does it bring you comfort? Whatever it is, keep it. Notice it. Connect with it. Enjoy your time with it. Appreciate it. Express gratitude for it. Relax with it. Let its essence fill you up.

Use this aspect of your life as your grounding rod. Let it hold your feet to the earth and steady you despite the whirlwinds of change that surround you.

Photo courtesy of my dad, John Williams, from his visit to Oregon in June-08

Your new identity has been revealed through the hole left from your old identity’s dissolution. You’ve followed the breadcrumbs and spotted your new destination.

You can clearly articulate who you are and what you are to do next.

How are you going to reach your goal?

Map out the steps--every single one. Fill in the blanks. When you’re not sure how to accomplish something or how to get from one step to another, ask for help. Learn new things. Interview experts.

When the picture is clear, it’s time for the real work. It’s time to roll up your sleeves and make things happen. (This is my favorite part!)

Take the first step. Then the next one. The steps can be small (actually, that’s recommended)--no need to leap or try to tackle everything at once.

Learn what you need to along the way.

Fumble and be willing to fail.

Go back and redraw the map where you got it wrong. No one says it will be or has to work perfectly on the first try.

Enjoy watching your dream unfold. You are making it happen.

Photo courtesy of Jasmic via Flickr

Does a dirty kitchen drive you crazy?

One of my childhood chores was doing the dishes after dinner. I became rather efficient at the task. When I grew up and had my own home, I wanted the kitchen spotless after dinner. My husband didn’t have the same clean kitchen policy in his bachelor pad, so if I wanted a tidy kitchen, it was my job to do it.

Some days, if the kitchen wasn’t clean, I got a little crazy. The trouble was, cleaning it could make me crazy, too.

Not too long ago, I finally smartened up.

Who cared about the clean kitchen? Only me.

Did Paul? Not really.

Did my neighbors, who can see the dishes stack up through the window? Likely not.

Did my mom? No. Even if I fabricated a story that she did care, she can’t even see them. She’s 3000 miles away and only knows that my kitchen is occasionally messy because I posted it here for the the world to see.

Why did I like the kitchen clean? It was one less thing to make me crazy, because so much in my life was making me crazy.

Interesting. I really pondered that. A kitchen can make me crazy. From an outsider, objective view, that’s a little crazy.

While I can pretty much control how clean my kitchen is, the process of controlling that trivial thing made me crazy. Like I said, there was little room to feel good.

This is when I realized it was time to lighten up. (If my sister’s reading this, she’s probably laughing hysterically at this point.)

I thought a clean kitchen made my house more relaxing. Although maybe it did, keeping that kitchen clean was far from relaxing. Was a spic-n-span kitchen necessary for me to function in life? Certainly not. In fact, it was limiting my functionality because of all the mental space I was taking up just by thinking about it.

Once I sorted out that I didn’t need my kitchen to be perfectly clean all of the time, I began to pride myself on the ability to occasionally let dishes pile up for a few days... and not go crazy in the mean time.

What can you let go of just a little, for the sake of your sanity?

I’d guess that at some point in your life you got together with other people to brainstorm something. It could have been how to solve a work problem, hit on a cutie at a bar, or convince your parents to lend you their car for the weekend. When two or more minds meet to solve a problem, you are engaging in a mastermind.

Until recently, I didn’t realize there was a word to describe the awesome women that helped me survive my time in corporate management. We were four female managers in a male-dominated work environment who banned together once every three weeks over a long lunch to support each other though our greatest and not-so-great moments. There were periods of complaining, and there was also a lot of camaraderie, support, and brainstorming. We all have said that that we may not have survived as long as we did without each other.

Mastermind groups are a great way to make progress with the support of others, whether in your personal life or work life. The groups can be formal or informal, though the more you put in the more you get out.

I’ve been leading a Mastermind group for coaches for the past 2 months, and the group’s been having a lot of fun and sharing great ideas, and each individual is making big strides in her business.

This Thursday I’m launching a second Mastermind group for small business owners!

• Are you a coach, artist, writer, service provider, or other small business owner?
• Would you like to join like-minded business owners for support in helping you grow your business?
• Camaraderie, support, and fresh ideas are just the beginning!

If you're a small business owner, sign up today!
(or at least start your own group--you’ll be glad you did!)