In just a few days of Dance of Shiva practice, I am seeing some of my patterns. Havi Brooks talks a lot about using this practice to notice patterns.

I’ve noticed my perfectionism pattern play out a few different ways.

1. I was hesitant to get started with my new practice because, “What if I didn’t get the epiphanies I hoped for?”

2. Havi recommends moving on before you can really do any level. I wanted to hang around on the first practice until I got it perfect. Epiphanies don’t come from hanging around in a comfortable place!

When I noticed the pattern, I could change my response to it.

1. I did the practice anyway.

2. I went straight through several lessons I never tried before, just to see what would happen. I survived!

This practice is just one way to notice patterns. There are other ways patterns show up in our lives. Our habits give us clues as to how we’re living based on old patterns.

A never-ending to-do list is a pattern to prove that “I’m a failure. I can’t get anything done.”

Constant busyness is a pattern for the thought, “I have to be productive.”

A television always on or music always playing is a pattern that keeps emotions stifled and the present moment ignored.

Whether you use Dance of Shiva or your keen observation skills, notice where patterns show up in your life. Acknowledge how they control you. The change the pattern by doing something different.
 

In April I chose two monthly themes to help me focus my energy in areas where I was looking to grow. For May, my two themes are Dance of Shiva and gratitude.

I don't understand what Dance of Shiva is, but funny enough, that's the point. It's fun, quirky, and something we're supposed to suck at. I've practiced it off and on for about nine months (okay, more off than on). I now want to put in some dedicated time. 10 to 15 minutes in the morning, followed by a 15 minute meditation. I'm looking forward to radical epiphanies and goofy fun.

In April I taught a class on Lizard Taming for Money Fears, and in our last class, we discussed gratitude. For May, I'm going to amp up my practice of gratitude in two ways. First, I have a beautiful new journal where I will write about the wonderful things in my life, throughout the day. Second, I have a smaller book I will carry with me when I'm on-the-go, to capture those moments of gratitude when inspiration strikes.

Do you have themes for May? Want to join me in either of these endeavors?
 

Is there something you’ve been dreaming about doing but you haven’t acted on yet?
 
Starting a business.
Quitting your job.
Creating a new offering for your clients.
Trying a new hobby or sport.
Pick anything.

Why do you want to do that thing you dream about?
What’s currently stopping you from doing it?

Desires fall into two basic categories:
Those that arise from an external impetus.
Those that arise from our deepest, truest selves.

If your “why you want to do that thing” is something like, “It sounds like a good idea,” or “I should,” or “That’s what my neighbor/friend/competitor is doing,” then your desire is driven from an external impetus.

If your “why” is “I get excited when I think about it,” or “It would be really fun,” then your desire is driven from your deepest, truest self.

If your desire is arising from an external impetus, reconsider that dream. Fulfilling dreams of others is a waste of your time and energy. Focus on what YOU want. Are you afraid to let someone down if you give up that dream? Or can you walk away from it and do something you love?

If your desire is arising from your deepest, truest self, what’s stopping you from moving forward? Are you worried about what other people will think? Are you afraid of failing?

Fear is often at the heart of our stalled intentions.

It's okay.

Feelings like fear are good indicators that you’re headed in the right direction. As Brooke Castillo suggests, feel the fear then use it.

Are you afraid to quit that job you dread and find a career you love? Instead of freezing with fear, use the energy of that fear to propel you into action.

Are you worried that if you try roller derby that you’ll fall flat on your face? Instead of fleeing the track, use it to motivate you to practice.

Are you afraid to give that speech, telling the world what you really think? Use the fear to make you stronger. (And check out Anna Kunnecke, coach and speaker--she had an awesome class last week on combatting stage fright.)

What are you afraid of and how can you use your fear to move you forward?

photo courtesy of chewie2008~ via flickr
 

Here’s what I’ve learned from focusing on breathing this month.

1. I hold my breath. A lot. Seemingly for no reason, though often it’s when I’m concentrating. This is ironic because depriving my brain of oxygen is unlikely to help my thinking.

2. If I consciously breathe for 5 minutes, I can triple the length of my inhale and exhale with not effort. All that’s required is my attention.

3. If I breathe for 10 minutes, my mind relaxes. If I breathe for 20 minutes, my body feels as if it’s aged backward. If I breathe for 30 minutes or more, I feel like I took some mid-altering substances. (Though this did happen with less than 5 minutes of breathing yesterday--it was fabulous!)

Curious about breathing? Check out Jess Ryan, yogini extraordinaire. She teaches anyone, local or long-distance (via Skype). And she rocks.

Jess says that 10 minutes of conscious breathing results in measurable physiological changes.

Spend 10 minutes today just watching yourself breathe. Relax into it. Send the air into your low belly. Enjoy!

photo courtesy of talulayu via flickr
 

Earlier this month I mentioned that I choose two focus areas for the month: breathing and money. In the whirlwind of life and the never-ending desires to try new things, setting theses two areas of focus has brought me peace and clarity.

In my five-week class, Taming Your Lizard’s Money Fears, I’m following along with the participants and completing the homework assignments. There’s been a variety of tools and techniques for homework, ranging from using The Work on limiting beliefs to harnessing the power our the right brain.

We often look at something like money, or health, or our weight, or our career, or our love life and say, “Once I get enough of this or meet that goal, then everything will be okay.” What often fail to do is pull back the layers from these desires and see what’s underneath.

Why do we want a certain amount of money or to weigh a particular number or to have a set number of clients or have the perfect job? What do we think that will give us?

When we explore the reasons for these desires, we find clarity about our true desires. Security, acceptance, the knowledge that everything will be okay, a feeling of being loved. It can be anything. We believe that a certain amount of money in the bank will give us security or a number on the scale will make us feel accepted. Since the money and the weight are easy to identify, we reach for those things.

Think about what you want. It can be anything. Now think about why you want it. Pull back the layers from your desire. What is it you are deeply longing for?

Now, imagine that desire is met. Ignore the bank account. Ignore the scale. Ignore the career you abhore. You have safety. Connection. Love. Acceptance. Or whatever it is you are seeking. How do you show up in the world? Describe your day, the interactions you have with others, the feelings in your heart.

Create your future from this place. Drop the desire for a bank account with a particular balance. Step into the feeling of having your true needs met. This is how you can really get what it is you truly want.
 

Listen to your heart.

I know how easy it can be to get wrapped up in doing the “right next thing” in searching for a new career or building my business or working toward any goal. We look toward the logical next step. We believe that if we follow the steps 1-2-3 we’ll get exactly where we want to go.

Rarely does anything work like that, except maybe baking cookies.

Think about a goal or something you’ve accomplished in your life. When you set out to achieve it, was it a simple 1-2-3 process, or did you take some detours and unexpected turns along the way?

Sometimes, the next step on the way to finding a job you love is to go for a walk in the middle of the day. It may not be logical, but your true, creative, essential self knows that it serves you better to go for a walk then to sit and work on your resume.

The next step for building your business may be to take a long bath, have a good cry, play with watercolors, or make faces with your food. Your logical mind can’t explain it--and it never will be able to, but your true, creative essential self knows exactly what you need to do to get to your goal.

Next time you’re not sure if you should take this step, that step, or turn left, check in with your heart.

Get quiet.

Take a few deep breaths.

Ask your heart what is next for you. It knows.

Listen and follow. What you hear may not be logical. It doesn’t have to be. If your logical mind were all you needed to get what you want, you’d already have exactly what you wanted.

Check in with your heart today. What does it say is next for you?
 
photo courtesy of ilmungo via flickr

On the way to making big things happen in life, know that you can get there, even if the road looks long and treacherous.

Rome wasn’t built in a day.
Babies aren’t made overnight (well, they are, but not made into a full baby, if you know what I mean).
Businesses don’t take off without the right up front work.

But Rome was built. And babies do grow to full term. And business do grow and thrive.

As you think about what you want to build, create, or grow in your own life, give yourself time. Everything begins as an idea. Plans are made,. Then steps are taken, one at a time.

Once you decide you don’t like your job and want to leave, a new one is unlikely to pop up the next day.

It takes time to think about what’s next.

It takes time for you to hear your true self speak to you and say what he or she wants.

It takes time to then act on those desires.

Give it time. Give it some space. All things can come to you if you truly want them and give them time.

What do you want that’s worth waiting for?
 

I can be guilty of being unnecessarily serious. In an attempt to lighten up over the last week, I decided to start playing with my food.

There are no children in our house, so funny food faces is far from necessary; my husband and I will eat our broccoli and spinach without a fuss. However, taking an extra two minutes to be creative with my dinner presentation was worth it for the child-like glee that followed when I saw my final creation.

Here’s steamed broccoli and a salmon burger.


Here’s pan fried polenta with spinach and cherry tomatoes, and chickpeas and sauteed mushrooms. A little parmesan cheese added a fun color contrast.


Where in your life can you be a bit more playful?

Enjoy!
 

You’re busy with work, life, family, community activities, and more. You committed to someone that you’d do that thing, and you’re waiting on someone else to get back to you with some other details. Although the specifics of these tasks are all simple, it causes you stress and seems to take more time than it should. Yet you have no idea how to change things.

You think, “I just need to make some time to read that time management book.”

I will say, I’m not a fan of time management books. The details are so specific. They teach you that their way is the right way and the only way, and you better do it this way or your life isn’t going to get any easier.

No, thank you.

How you manage your time and your tasks should be as unique as you are. It should be customized to how you work and how you live.

There are, however, a few principles behind all time management systems.

1. Get stuff out of your head and captured somewhere.
2. Trust your “captured somewhere.”

This puts everything in the right place when you need it. You don’t have to trust your memory to tell you that you still need to pick up a baby card for your friend. It’s captured and you trust that it’s captured.

This brings in the third principle of time management systems.

3. Have a task retrieval system you trust.

You can use
a to-do list,
a calendar,
a small notebook in your pocket or purse,
a stack of post-its on your forehead,
any of the above,
or anything else you can imagine.

Create a system you trust.
Use the system.

That’s how your to-do list can be stress-free.

Setting up a system takes creativity and experimentation. Some people need a little help.

Put the time in now to create something that makes life easier. Your stress-levels will thank you.
 

I don’t know about you, but I’ve got so many things I want to see, learn, read, do, try, practice, experience, ... you get the idea. Everything from places I want to visit to new meditations I want to try. Big things, little things, and everything in between.

A few weeks ago I had the idea to choose one or two themes for each month. I would focus on this new idea or experience or personal shift I’m wanting to make for an entire month. I’d experiment and see what happens. It allows me to focus on one thing, knowing I can’t do everything at once (I’ve tried!).

Each month I’ll share my themes. Intermingled with my regular blog posts, I’ll write about what I’m learning from or experiencing from the themes. I’ll include fun facts, great resources, or things I’m learning.

You’re invited to join in and share your experiences. I’d love to have you chime in.
 

Breathing

I have heard about and read about the benefits of diaphragmatic breathing for stress reduction, anxiety relief, pain reduction, creativity, detoxification, and overall well-being. I have been intending to have a regular breathing practice for quite some time, but it hasn’t happened. So, it’s my April theme, and I’m loving it already.
 
I learned the techniques of breathing from my acupuncturist, who is also a Qi Gong teacher, and from a yoga instructor. It is highly beneficial to learn diaphragmatic breathing from someone who knows the specifics. They can explain the specific techniques, the sensations you can expect to feel when you’re learning, and the sensations you can expect to feel once it becomes routine.

Ten minutes of intentional diaphragmatic breathing is supposedly a magic duration. The body starts to shift and respond at that point. Twenty minutes, or even more, multiplies the benefit.

My goal for April is to breathe for 20 minutes a day, and I’m shooting for 30-45 minutes.

I’m already noticing some benefits. My body feels more alive after I breathe. My head is clearer. Ideas flow more easily. My digestion is more robust. And I am so mellow.

I’ll keep you posted on how it’s going.

Money

I’m teaching a class this month, Tame Your Lizard’s Money Fears, and I’m having fun doing it. One of the best parts about teaching is that I can solidify my own understanding of the subject as I teach.
We started by looking at our limiting beliefs about money. We’ll be talking about how to know what we really want by checking in with our bodies, how to use our right brains to get what we want, and the power of gratitude. Each week builds on the next, with daily homework activities to create a solid shift in our money perspective.

I’m doing the homework along with the participants. I love knowing that we’re going through this transformation together.

**
To shift something significant in our lives, it often takes more than a passing thought, an afternoon’s inquiry, or a five-week class. To make a significant shift stick, I need to put my attention on it for awhile. This is the impetus behind my monthly themes.

April is about breathing and money. Will you join me?