Tonight I’m running a workshop entitled Taking Charge of Change. My main message is simple:

No matter what change is initiated in your life, you can be in charge.

Sometimes we choose change and sometimes change is chosen for us. Change can come on suddenly or gradually.

Martha Beck says that changes initiate in three ways: opportunities, shocks, and transitions.

Opportunities are changes we choose and are usually perceived as positive, such as a promotion or buying a new home.

Shocks are surprises. Winning the lottery would be perceived as a positive one, and suddenly losing a loved one would be perceived as negative.

Transitions are gradual, internal shifts that stem from an inner yearning.

The way in which change is initiated often dictates our response. We tend to feel victimized by changes we don’t choose and empowered by changes we do choose.

However, we can own our response to any change. We can take what life gives us and decide what to do with it. As the old adage goes, “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” Yes, this is more easier said than done, but it’s possible.

Check back on Monday for more discussion on change and tips and tricks to feel empowered (rather than victimized).

Photo courtesy of Bogdan Suditu on Flickr under a creative commons license.
 

It is your soul’s duty to be loyal to its own desires. It must abandon itself to its master passion. --Dame Rebecca West

Do you believe you exist for a reason? Do you have a purpose or a mission?

I’ve come to believe that we all have a purpose for being on this planet. I don’t believe that purpose has to be something big and grand and complicated. For some people, it may be like that, but for another, her purpose could be “being a mother to these children.”

Back when I realized my life was headed in a direction that was not aligned with my true self, I began pondering this question of purpose. I’ve read various books on the philosophy of purpose. Each has given me a piece of the puzzle, but I know that the real answer will come from within me.

Last week I took a huge leap towards recognizing my purpose. I’ve pieced this together:

I am here to enable the right-brained, creative, spiritual, mission-driven healers and teachers of this world to get their work and healing out to whom they are here to serve.

There’s more to my purpose and mission than that, but the cards are still hidden. I have more to learn and uncover.

I’m curious. Do you believe you are here for a reason (even if you don’t know what it is)? Do you have a purpose or a mission? Please share.

Sunday, January 24 is National Compliment Day.

Instead of a typical post, I’m going to share a few compliments.

Please join me and post yours here. Compliment anyone you like. Putting good words out into the Universe, especially in a public way, is a great way to magnify love and gratitude.

Here are mine.

Jen, I think you’re a fantastic coach, so supportive and encouraging. You helped me unearth some lost magic and hidden desires from within myself. You are kind, patient, supportive, and generous. You are a fabulous friend who I am so grateful to know.

Katrina, you are a great listener and an inspiring artist. Although we are currently separated by 6000 miles, you always are here for me. You listen to my wild stories with an open mind. You even help me with some website stuff, like my awesome logo and that beautiful Email-RSS subscribe button on the right. Thanks for being my friend!

Nicole, I love your art. I love your blog. I love the little bits of inspiration I find in what you do. You are open and authentic with your art and your process. I got hooked during your Quit Your Day Job Celebration and been loving your work every since.

Anna, you crack me up. Your blog is one of the first I read in the morning. I love Manatees, and I love that you can be so YOU. I hope to be lucky enough to meet your sweet little girl one of these days. Thank you for your YOUness because it is a true source of inspiration for me.

I could write so many more compliments here. Check back. I'll add them throughout the day. If you aren't listed here, it's not personal. I love you, too.

Please add yours.

Laughter provides a door to your soul so that you can forget your troubles, even for a moment; and you clear away negativity, confusion, and mind chatter. --Sonia Choquette (Trust Your Vibes)

The more stressful, dangerous, baffling, or unpleasant your situation, the more important it is to laugh at it. --Martha Beck (The Joy Diet)

Laugh at yourself and at life, and nothing can touch you. --Louise Hay (You Can Heal Your Life)

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. --E.E. Cummings

Seven days without laughter makes one weak. --Mort Walker

I’m not much of a cat person, but search “funny cat” on YouTube and you’ll find some funny results. Here’s one that got me laughing.

Have you seen this baby with the evil eye? I think he’s a hoot!

What do you find funny? Share it here. We can all use more laughs!

Until recently, I haven’t been what I would consider to be an affirmations person. They always felt forced. I felt like I was lying.

Something changed recently, and I’m not sure what it was. What I do know is that now and then I can throw around a few positively optimistic phrases (which do not represent my reality as I see it) and feel good about it.

I’ve picked up a few lately about money, health, and life in general. I repeat them in the shower, while driving, and in my notebook, whenever the time feels right.

I’m curious, are you an affirmations person? How do you go about it?
 

You can now subscribe to this blog via email, in addition to subscribing in a reader.

Just click the orange mail icon on the right and it will send you to the subscription page. Once you subscribe, you'll need to verify your subscription. Then the blog posts will be sent directly to your Inbox.

Yipee!!
 

Do you ever say, “Once I get or do [this thing], then I’ll take a break,” or something like that?

This is a common theme for me. I had a long list of deadlines for last week, and I saw that I was putting off taking a break until they were done.

When I made it through the list, the realization hit me that I was done. I took a few deep breaths, then I looked for the next thing to do.

Then I stopped myself. I noticed my accomplishments. I remembered my delayed break.

I took a few more deep breaths.

I said, “Now take that break you said you were delaying until you got it all done.” (Like a stern yet loving mother may say.)

And I did.

I relaxed, I read, I wrote, and I spent time sitting quietly. I enjoyed the break and reveled in my accomplishments. I laughed at how quickly they all got done, especially considering my frenzied moments earlier in the week.

I’ve committed to LISTEN and to ALLOW this year. I’m not embodying these words all the time, but on days like this one, I am one step closer. And that’s what matters.
 

On Monday, I wrote about a slip-up on my resolution to LISTEN. Today, I’m writing about my second resolution: ALLOW.

One word resolutions.
Let me first detour to these one-word resolutions and where they came from. Maybe resolution isn’t the best word for it, but it feels right to me. Christine Kane, a singer, songwriter, and coach, suggests using a “Word of the Year” to guide the upcoming year. She asks her blog readers to share their experiences using a guiding word, and I finally caught on. In mid-December, LISTEN came to me. Shortly after that, I heard, ALLOW.

ALLOW.
I chose ALLOW for 2010 because it is a perfect complement to LISTEN. LISTEN is about me hearing the whispers of my wise, inner self and of my body. ALLOW is acceptance of reality, acceptance of what-is. Both of these words are physical and mental; though for me, the focus is actually more physical than mental.

I was left-brain trained (logical, mathematical, scientific, process-oriented), and I have lived my life “in my head,” so to speak. In the last year, I’ve learned to climb back into my body and learn that I can LISTEN to the physical feelings that are stored there. Behind the physical sensations are words. They say things like, “Slow down. There’s no need to rush.” Or, “Yes, do that. It will be fun!” Those are the voices I want to hear more clearly this year.

Allowing ALLOW.
ALLOW, for me, is two-thirds physical, one-third mental. Having lived “in my head” for so long, I almost forgot I had a body. (No, of course not literally, but it seems that way, now that I look back.) Every time I think a thought that doesn’t serve me, my body tenses up. Since I’ve spent my life pleasing others, I think a lot of things that don’t serve me... and my body tenses up a lot, too. ALLOW is helping me refocus on what-is in life, and letting it be.

I am tired of controlling, trying, forcing, and efforting. I want to take a break and just ALLOW.

A new way.
I have this thought, in the back of my mind, that if I can let go of trying so hard, more things will come to me. More fun, more business, more love, more whatever-is-good. ALLOW isn’t about making or desiring those things to come to me, but it is about permitting them to enter my world. Who knows if it will work. What I do know for sure is that I’m tired of trying and I’m tired of hurting and I’m ready for a new way. And that’s what ALLOW is all about for me. I look forward to learning what it has to teach me in 2010.

Do you have a word for 2010?

Happy 2010 Everyone! Hope you had an enjoyable holiday season.

Do you have a resolution for 2010? How’s it going?

If you received my January 1st newsletter, you learned that my new year’s resolution is to LISTEN. (You can check out a repost of that article on Examiner.com.) While I was contemplating my first blog post of the year, I realized I had already slipped up on my resolution! Alas, all is well.

For me, resolutions are not about a hard, fast, painful commitment to change. Rather, they are like a light that shines on my life to help me find a new way.

It was when I was taking a pre-dinner soak in our hot tub that I realized that I blew my resolution. At the same time, I also realized that it was okay.

Here’s how I lost my way.
I had some inspiration about my coaching business, and I worked up a little frenzy in my office for a good part of the day. The entire time I heard my body talking. It said, “Go exercise!” (I like to exercise--it makes me feel good.) My knee was fussy for some reason I don’t yet understand. My shoulder wanted a break from the computer. I was getting all sorts of loud messages, yet I kept working. So much for LISTENing!

Messing up is perfect.
And even though I didn’t listen, it’s absolutely perfect. Since I have this resolution, I noticed how I was not living the way I want to. Without the resolution, it would have been another day spent working up a storm, minus the awareness. On day three into the new year, I am more aware than before on how LISTEN more in my life.

Slip-ups are okay.
If you have a resolution or a commitment for 2010, stick with it, even if you slip-up. If you plan to lose weight and notice you gain a pound, don’t sweat it! If you set the intention to work less and play more, yet spend a Saturday at the office, no big deal! Slipping up may happen, but it’s no big deal. Notice when you do and why.

Learn from the slip-ups.
When you do slip-up, learn from it and course correct.

For me, two things happened. First, I was excited about my idea, and I can get one-track-minded when that happens. Second, I was coming from a place of “there’s only so much time,” a theme that is common in my life.

What will I do differently next time? I’m not sure, so I will spend some time journaling to figure it out. (This is an old pattern, so a new way is going to take some mental digging!)

Stay with your intention.
Setting an intention to make a change does not mean change will be easy (though sometimes it can be). Give yourself credit for setting a goal, watching yourself along the way, and course correcting when you find yourself off track.

Did you set a resolution for 2010? How’s it going? Share it with us!

p.s. Come back Thursday to hear about my other resolution: ALLOW. And also learn what’s up with my one-word resolutions.