How do you feel on Mondays? Does your day begin with dread, overwhelm and heaviness? Or does your Monday start with excitement, enthusiasm and eagerness?

I will not deny that some people face tough work environments, challenging coworkers, and frustrating projects. You could likely find a roomful of people to commiserate with you about any difficult work situation. Does commiseration make you feel any better? In my experience, commiseration made work feel worse.

When you focus on the challenging and frustrating aspects of your day, you will likely encounter more of the same. Can you recall a day when things grew worse and worse as the hours went by? The more we focus on what we don’t want, the more of it we get.

Start your Monday with an attitude adjustment. Here’s how to do it.

1. Identify the feeling that comes up on Monday. [Maybe you feel dread.]

2. Ask yourself, “What story am I telling myself as to why I feel this way on Mondays?” [The story could be that you dread another long week of working without recognition for your effort.]

3. Determine how you would rather feel about work. [Excitement is a possibility, but if you’re starting from a feeling of dread, it could be easier to seek a feeling of indifference.]

4. Ask yourself, “What new story could I tell myself about Mondays that would make me feel the way I would rather feel?” This requires a little brainstorming. Write down some new stories and try them out. Here are some examples.

* Even though my boss doesn’t show it, I know she appreciates my hard work.
* I have the ability to make my day better if I want to.
* There is only so much time in the day, and I will get done what I can and then I will take care of myself and leave at 5:00.
* Even though this isn’t my dream job, it’s a great stepping stone to what I really want to do.

I often facilitate client attitude adjustments for tough work situations during coaching sessions. I estimate that ninety percent of my clients show up wanting an attitude adjustment about work at some point while we work together. As a coach, I love helping clients adjust their attitude; it makes their work life better, and their friends and family take notice, too!

After one attitude adjustment, a client said to me, “Wow! Imagine if I showed up with this attitude every morning!” She saw the power that she had to change her attitude and shift her entire day by telling a new story on her way to work.

Your attitude determines how you experience the world.
-- Sanaya Roman

Adopt a new mindset, even if you do it for a few minutes during your commute on Monday. Start your work week on a positive note. The rest of the week will thank you for it.

What are your “new stories” to adjust your attitude on Mondays?

If I told you to go out and try something new and suck at it, could you? When I first heard that suggestion, I cringed. I grew up as a perfectionist, and sucking at something did not fit into my view of the world.

When we want to make changes in our lives, we need to try new things. Trying new things means that we might suck at it for awhile before we figure it out.

Going into business for myself, I have been slowly learning how to do something and suck at it. I will be honest with you: some days my suckiness is hard to stomach. I’m growing a stronger stomach.

If you want to try doing new things or try new ways of being, you might make some mistakes. It’s okay. Here’s how to go about trying new things, being willing to suck, and holding on to your stomach.

1. Identify your target.
2. Map out your plan.
3. Go for it.
4. Pat yourself on the back.
5. Learn from where you went wrong, and make a new plan.
6. Repeat steps 3, 4, and 5 until you decide to quit the endeavor or have mastered your target.

This plan is easily replicated for simple things such as eating a little healthier during the day, taking five minutes to meditate in the morning, or taking a moment of gratitude before you begin your day.

It can also be used for complicated things like learning to market a new business (this is currently where I’m learning to stomach my own suckiness), training for and running a half-marathon (kudos to my friend Julie and her whole family for their endeavor last weekend!), or learning to create your own website
Whatever new endeavor you’re shooting for, it’s okay to suck. In fact, it’s bound to happen. Embrace it and pat yourself on the back anyway.
 
Are you willing to suck? Share your stories!
 

Here’s an end note on the photo, since you are likely wondering what it has to do with this post.

First, in case you haven’t figured it out already, I take all of the photos you see on this blog and in my newsletter. My goal is to keep it up to keep my right brain active. I’m not a famous photographer, though photography is one of my creative endeavors where I’m willing to suck.

Second, this photo is of my husband’s head. I cut his hair. It’s pretty straightforward, and I’ve been doing it for years. Well, we had a little mishap with the clipper guard two weeks ago. Even after all these years, I cut a patch of hair without the guard on, and he looked a little funny for a week. No matter how practiced we think we are, we can still have moments where we suck. Thank goodness Paul is a patient and generally low-maintenance guy. Just one of the many reasons I love him.

I decided it is time for an update on the business side of Rising Sun Coaching.

Three Months Going Strong

It’s been three months since I left my corporate job for full-fledged entrepreneurship. Coaching is going well, and it is wonderful to be in a career that fills my soul. Please check out the coaching section of my site for more details.

I am also excited to now offer more resources to you, to help you create your best life.

Mastermind Groups

I am currently running a Mastermind Group for coaches, focused on getting their coaching practices up and running. It's a great group, and we're having fun, too.

I am starting two new groups in October. Check out the details on my website.

• Build Your Practice - Mastermind for Coaches
• Grow Your Business - Mastermind for Small Business Owners

Classes

I offered my first class last week, and it was free! It was called Get Your Website Up!, and it was targeted at small business owners who want to have a website and are struggling to get started. The class was recorded, so if this information would be useful to you, email me and I will send you a link to the free recording. If you are looking for more support in getting a website up, I will also be offering drop-in group coaching for a small fee.

Do-It-Yourself Products

I found coaching very helpful to find my right career and a happy life, and I also did a lot of self-reflection and do-it-myself studying. I want to help everyone find the thing in life that makes them happy, regardless of their learning style. 

I will be offering do-it-yourself coaching products on my website. The first product I will have is an audio and workbook companion to Martha Beck's book Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live. I am partnering with my coaching friend Alison Horner to put together this great product for you.

Newsletter

Scroll over to the box on the top left of this page to subscribe to my newsletter. I publish a newsletter two times each month with insights and ideas on how to create a life you love. I also offer specials and freebies just for newsletter subscribers.

Questions or Suggestions?

I love to hear ideas and suggestions from my clients, blog readers, and newsletter subscribers. If there is anything you would like to hear about, read about, or be a part of, drop me an email [Jenny [at] RisingSunCoaching [dot] com]. I’d love to hear from you!

Here is a great idea that was passed along to me by my friend Ellen Hartson. I joined the ranks of thousands who decided to give 29 gifts in 29 days. Join us at www.29gifts.org!

In a recent post, I discussed the idea of acceptance. I received a great question from one reader:

Could you talk more about acceptance? What happens after I accept that my boss is passive-aggressive? I'm just OK with it?

I thought this question was worthy of a follow-up post.

Accepting reality is knowing you can not change it. It does not mean that the reality you experienced is your preference or that you will not take subsequent action. Acceptance is about finding peace within yourself.

Accept a situation first. This creates peace within yourself. Then take the appropriate action for yourself from that place of peace.

There are two things from my original post that I think could be better worded.

“When we accept something, we have no limit to our patience.” This may be better worded as

When we accept something, it no longer tries our patience. We recognize it as reality, and we can then choose what to do about it.

“Acceptance leads us to peace. Tolerance is holding back a fight.” I think a better way to say this is

Acceptance is what creates peace inside of us. When we accept something, we are no longer fighting reality. The fighting prevents us from experiencing peace.

As I said above, accepting reality does not mean that reality is our preference. By nature, we have preferences. I am going to use a simple example to illustrate the idea of reaching acceptance when reality does not meet our personal preferences.

I like coffee ice cream. Let’s say that I go to the store wanting to buy coffee ice cream, but they are out. If I stand in the store and get upset about not being able to buy coffee ice cream, I have no mental space left to make a decision about what to do. I am stuck being upset about reality not matching my preference. I can argue all I want about it not being “right” that a store does not have it, but the reality will not change.

If I can accept that there is no coffee ice cream at this store, I am making peace with reality. Then I can decide what I want to do next. I can buy another flavor, look for it elsewhere, or skip ice cream altogether. Action from a peaceful place is productive and allows me to move forward in life.

Without acceptance, I may lash out at the other patrons or even call the store manager for a chat about the absence of coffee ice cream. This is not productive and it does not allow me to move forward in life. This keeps me stuck.

You likely understand this simple example. Where some people get confused is when we start talking about a more emotionally-charged topic, such as the people in our lives and how they impact us.

Even in dealing with the people in our lives, it is still not possible for us to change reality. The people in our lives are who they are. I can not change my boss or my spouse, but I can decide what I want to do about my relationship with them once I accept them for who they are. Once I accept reality, I can choose to leave a situation or a relationship if that is what is best for me, or I can have a conversation with the other person about what displeases me. With acceptance, my action comes from a peaceful place instead of a place of frustration, which may cause me to lash out or make inappropriate comments in the heat of the moment.

I could keep debating whether or not it is “fair” that the store does not have coffee ice cream or that my boss is passive-aggressive, but as long as I debate with reality, then I have no room left to effectively decide what I want to do about it. This keeps me stuck in a situation that I do not want. Once I stop the debate and the struggle, I can take action for my own well-being.

What are your thoughts on acceptance? What other questions do you have?

Have you ever been on a little rant, threw a tantrum, or had a fit?

That’s a silly question. Of course you have, even if it was just inside your own head.

How about this: Do you remember the last time you were on a little rant, threw a tantrum, or had a fit?

Pull it up in your mind for a moment. When was it? What were you ranting or whining about? Who did you affect while you were in that mood? Lastly, what made you stop?

Think about that last question for a moment: What made you stop?

Was it a gentle inner voice telling you “enough is enough?” Did you stub your toe or jam your finger? Did a friend or family member snap back at you because they had had enough of your attitude? Was it something else?

I was in a rotten mood this morning. I am not sure why, and it really doesn’t matter. After several hours of being short-tempered and grumpy, a small ray of sunshine snapped me back to my better self.

We were having a beautiful but cool day in Oregon, and the air in my office was chilly, even at noon. My toes were a tad purple.

I walked into my office after grabbing a glass of water, ready to sit down at the computer. Before my bottom landed in the chair, I felt warmth on my foot. It made me stop mid-stride. It was unexpected and wonderful. I glanced down and saw the sun on the carpet, with beautiful shadows from the plant in front of the window and the tree right outside.

How long have I been in this house, using this office, seeing the plant and the tree? Yet I had not noticed the beauty of the sun on the carpet. I pulled out my camera and took a photo. It could not completely capture the warmth that my toes enjoyed or the moment silence that quieted my racing mind.

It was a wonderful moment. The world paused, I saw my inner chaos, and I was done with it. My attitude shifted on its own, I didn’t need to force it, and I was free to peacefully move on with my day.

Moments like this are what I call a “smack in the face.” Today it was the sunlight on the carpet that warmed my toes. I am grateful for its gentleness.

Usually my smack in the face is more literal, and my body parts suffer from dents, bruises, and open wounds. When my mind and body are moving too fast, something always finds a way to slow me down.

What smacks you in the face when your body and mind move too fast?

Part of the human experience, part of the completeness of life, is to accept the light and the dark sides. Our perfections and imperfections. Together, they open up the human experience.   --Mark Romero

Check Mark out on YouTube.

As Mark eloquently points out, the human experience is about accepting the light and the dark in life and in ourselves. Fully opening up in our lives means loving and accepting all parts of us, both the parts that are easy to love and the parts that are more challenging to love.

Fully blossoming in our lives means truly loving all of who we are.

The idea of self-love can send some of us running away. When I first heard about it years ago, I wanted nothing to do with it!

Do you love yourself? I mean, do you really love yourself?

Could you say, “I love you, [insert your full name here]” in the mirror without wincing, feeling shy or embarrassed, or making sure no one was listening?

If so, kudos to you. That’s truly awesome.

If not, why? Really think about why you can’t do it or don’t like it.

Could you be okay loving all of yourself, if I told you that your uncomfortable feelings are okay?

Mary Knebel, a coach and recent ebook author, posted this exercise on self-love in her blog earlier this year. I think she does a great job walking us through how to learn to feel more love and acceptance for ourselves.

Another, very awesome coach, Jeannette Maw, talks about self love in a blog post from 2007.

(Both Jeannette and Mary have great ebook offerings on self-love. You can find them on their websites.)

Self-love is not about loving only the parts of us we think are perfect. It is about accepting our dark sides and our light sides.

There can not be light without darkness. And there can not be darkness without light.

If you have been following my blog recently, you know that 1) I like to bike, and 2) my bike’s cyclocomputer recently went haywire. As my post will tell you, it was a great thing that this happened.

I will cut to the chase, for those of you wondering if I put the cyclocomputer back on: The answer is No.

I’ve been riding for a month without it. It’s not that I’m too lazy or too busy to put it on. There have been plenty of opportunities. I’m finding that I enjoy listening to my body instead of reading the numbers. My body does a great job of telling me if I’m working hard enough or working too hard. I don’t need a gadget to keep me informed about how I feel. Sounds a bit obvious, doesn’t it? Maybe not, if your a gadget kind of person.

How often do we use external signals to tell us something our body should be capable of telling us?

Here are some examples that come to mind:

- I see the clock say 6:00 a.m., and it must be time to get up.
- The clock says 12:00 p.m., so I must be hungry for lunch.
- I smell the sweet air from a bakery while walking down the street, so I must need a tasty treat.
- The thermometer says 100 degrees, so it must be too hot for a walk.

I teach clients to listen to what their bodies are telling them--instead of using their heads. Society teaches us to figure things out with our brains, but our bodies are wise, and they often need little interference from our minds.

Listening to our bodies is the key to living the happiest life possible.

If you’re skeptical of my suggestion, re-read my post on Ignoring the Numbers. Would I have been happier staring at my biking stats for 90 minutes? Definitely not.

Here’s some ways this has played out for me recently, besides the cyclocomputer example.
 
- Instead of getting up when the clock tells me, I listen to when my body tells me I’m done sleeping and get up when I feel well rested. It puts me in such a good mood!

- The other night I was hungry at 9:00 p.m. I rarely get hungry at that hour. If I had used my mind, which was telling me that I don’t get hungry after dinner, I would have ignored the signal and likely woke up grumpy the next morning. Instead, I had a small snack and felt better.

- I recently asked my body what kind of exercise it wanted, and it told me to swim. I haven’t swam for exercise since high school. The following day, I pulled out a swimsuit, a cap, and goggles and went swimming. I was giddy all day, it made me so happy.

Humans are blessed with a logic center in our brains. This serves us well in so many ways. Unfortunately, it hurts us when it comes to making decisions about our bodies. Wild animals don't use logic to decide when to eat or when to sleep. They just do what feels right at the moment. There is no internal debate about a chocolate chip cookie or an afternoon nap. If that's what they need, they do it

Next time you notice a feeling in your body that indicates tiredness, hunger, or something else uncomfortable, check in with your body. Are you really hungry, or is it something else? Are you staying up later than your body would like you to?

What is your body telling you about what it wants or needs?